Cock Sucking – Easy or Not
I’ve sucked a lot of cock in my lifetime.
A hell of a lot of cock.
With the possible exception of getting fucked, ,
cocksucking is my favorite hobby.
I have done it hard, fast, slow, gentle, wet, throatfucking-y:
all the different types of cocksucking.
Therefore, I am MORE THAN qualified to say that it is not
an easy thing to do.
It is not simple.
No two dicks are the same, and even with the same dick, no
two blow jobs will ever be the same.
That is one of many reasons why I love it so.
You don’t go to town on
someone else’s dick thinking it’s a walk in the park. If you do, you are
probably very bad at it.
Perhaps the reason this gentleman thinks that it’s easy to
suck a dick or two is because he has a dick, and he knows fairly well
what will please it. Perhaps it’s because we live in a culture that tells us
fellatio is far more important than eating minge, and therefore the people in
his life who have wrapped their lips round his penis have had different
techniques and possibilities hammered home to them, with the same importance
they were drilled in algebra at school.
Maybe it’s because his lovers have taken the time and
effort on his dick, rather than lapping half-heartedly at it, wondering
when they can get a note to say they don’t have to, as he has so clearly done
with eating pussy.
Whatever the reason, he’s clearly under the mistaken
impression that sucking dick is easy, and that all dicks want to be sucked the
same way. If there is literally any point in me as a human being, it is to
correct this ridiculous assumption. So here goes…
Sucking dick is hard. It’s a challenge. It makes your neck
hurt if you’re doing it at the wrong angle. I have sucked some bad dick and I
have sucked some good dick – I
would never claim that I am a sexual superhero. All I can say is that I
know – with the passion of a true enthusiast – that it’s way more complicated
than you think.
Telling me that all blow jobs are ‘simple’ is like telling a
trainspotter that there’s only one type of engine. Gentle, fast, hard,
deep, shallow, teasing, edging, sloppy, just-the-tip, hands, no-hands,
collared-to-the-bedposts-so-you-choke-it-down-like-gruel… there are HUNDREDS of
different types of blow jobs, my friend.
There are some blow jobs where you’re building a perfect
rhythm, with just the right suction and sloppiness, and you have to choke your
way through a few breaths so you can get them to the ending they desire.
Sometimes you know you need to change speed because your
throat is full and your eyes are watering and you’re drooling all over their
balls, and you need to switch up in just the right way that you increase
their high rather than kill it.
Occasionally you have to swallow down puke because you got too
into it and you don’t really want to just stop.
YES. SOMETIMES I HAVE PUKED A BIT ON GUYS DICKS BECAUSE I WAS
TRYING TOO DAMN HARD.
If you’d done the same, would you sit by and nod and smile
when some fucking never-sucked-a-dick-BELLEND tried to tell you it was
‘simple’? Well, neither will I.
A good blow job is fucking art. It’s like playing
jazz piano blindfolded for an audience you’re desperate to please.
It’s improvisation and communication and skill and practice and a whole
lot of love.
Tell me it’s fun. Tell me it’s a challenge. Tell me how you
like it when your dick hits the back of my throat. All these things and more,
please tell me: in exquisite and horny detail.
But don’t EVER tell me that sucking dick is easy.
Nothing in life is easy if you want to do it well.
